Boundaries are rules that we set to teach other people how to treat and interact with us. That might include anything from setting time rules on when others have access to you, to removing toxic people all together. It often doesn’t come easy, but the earlier that we master how to do this, the happier and healthier our relationships are. I realized that I need to set boundaries for myself, WITH myself. I need to be accountable for my happiness and well being. A big part of my personal growth is the realization that I have much more control than I realize. It really boils down to breaking some old bad habits and creating some awesome new ones. Here’s 10 ways that I’m doing it:
I promise to say no to requests that are beyond my abilities.
This could be work, family or friends. This is not easy for me because if you read my last post, acts of service is one of my love languages. However, over-extending myself when I’m toreador stressed always backfires, and leaves me frustrated, exhausted and sometimes resentful.
Paying my bills on time.
Whew chillay! This is a big one. When things are not taken care of, I get anxiety. I do my fair share of juggling like everyone else, but there is room for improvement. Budgeting and financial responsibility is key.
Setting a well-care budget.
I vow to prioritize the self-care items that keep me in a good space every month. That could include yoga sessions, massages, pedicures or therapy. These items need to be budgeted in treated as important as the phone bill.
Having a set bedtime and night ritual.
I used to just fall asleep when I pass out from exhaustion. I’ve gotten better a this, but I want to be more intentional. Affirmations, skincare, prayer, and to-do lists for the next-day all keeps me grounded and organized for the next day.
Follow a kick-ass morning ritual.
I’m still developing this, but it could go something like this: stretching, meditating, herbal tea, writing in my journal, speaking positivity over my family’s day.
Stop beating myself up when things don’t go as planned.
I’ve been working on this one, but old habits are hard to break and require effort. This is especially true if I find myself in a repeat situation. I’m learning that shifting that focus to finding solutions is more helpful.
l will be honest if someone upsets me or hurts my feelings.
Good communication and allowing someone to apologize is so much better than denying my feelings or holding it in. It’s a healthy form of vulnerability.
Stay on top of my health checkups and monitor my prescriptions.
This is a no-brainer, but how many times do women in particular (especially women of color) put everyone else’s medical needs before our own?
Ask for Help!
I’m going to pack up my cape and let go of the Superwoman/supermom title. We’re all in this space to help each other. Everyone needs supports.
Be mindful of other people’s boundaries.
I’m human. Some times good intentions backfire and we hurt each other. I promise to take accountability if this happens and try to right my wrongs.
What are some of your good habits and boundaries that you’ve developed? Tell me below.